Mystery Within Mystery

We are in the middle of the month of Karitgai, the Tamil month that follows the dates of around November 16th to December 15th every year. The dates are fluid on the Gregorian Calendar, but are fixed when the Sun enters the sign of Scorpio in the Tamil calendar.

Kartigai is named by the full moon that occurs in this month, coinciding around the stellar mansion of Krithika nakshatra or the Pleiades. Lord Muruga is called Karthikeya because he is said to have been raised by the six maidens of Krittika. Shiva's third eye flashed six sparks, the six sisters raised these sparks that formed into the Lord Muruga.

The full moon of this month is widely celebrated by the Tamil people all over the world. In Tiruvannamalai a fire lamp is lit at the peak of the hill Arunachala. Lamps are lit and crackers burst, very much like the festival of Deepavali.

And people say it is a celebration of the victory of Light over Darkness. That's what we have been repeating for some time now.

Victory Comes From War

Imagine saying the Sun has finally won!

Or to say the fight has been settled....henceforth the Day is the winner, so you must give up Nights. Just keep busy, forget sleep.

Certain cultures believes that dark skin is bad, and light skin is good. Darkness is evil...Light is pure. There are many ways that we re-inforce stupidity.

It's ridiculous the amount of inane things we are told.

Have you noticed how some people feel so self-righteous, because they feel they are bringers of the light, fighters of the darkness....and how it has been drilled on that they will win the fight. And that people will celebrate their victory.

Eternal Kindergarten

It's carried over in this Video Game theory of life. People proudly claim that they have 'gameified' their lives. They say there are levels to achieve and evil entities to fight, and you can earn some reward points.

Sometimes I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

People are desperate to fit life into a box that they can understand. And they don't stop for a minute to see how childish they sound.

A video game is the most reductionist approach one can have for play. A claustrophobic fantasy of control.

Random

I remember times in my childhood where for some reason all the other kids of the neighborhood would be missing, and only three of us would land up together. My sister, a boy called Prakash and me.

We would end up playing a strange game. We were all below the age of ten. It was a sort of house-house, I guess.

Prakash would be the mother, my sister was his child, and I was the kidnapper. I would kidnap my sister and hide her somewhere. Prakash would come home and discover this.

But every time before he discovered his tragedy, he would spend a long time, sweeping the floor, washing the clothes, cooking.....and then he would be distraught and would have to go on a rescue mission to find his child.

My sister would at times get bored midway and would go off somewhere else. And I, the kidnapper, would keep hanging around Prakash when he did his make belief chores in his make belief house, and we would have long conversations. He talking as a grown woman, and me as a cunning entity.

Play

Play can have levels, but that's not the only kind of play. Kids are often fluid in their approach. Rules are made up as you go along. Levels are not set in stone. Sometimes there are no rules or levels. It's play acting. It's exploration. It's discovery.

A video game, on the other hand, is where the rules are clear. What you are expected to do has to be established. And when you tick the boxes, you go to another predictable level.

Life is much weirder. Than we can even imagine.

If you are so busy ticking boxes off, you are simply missing the point.

There is no fight. It's more a co-existence.

Creepy Darkness

Darkness has gotten really bad press so far. Lousy PR.

We have Goddess Kali, the Dark Mother, in our consciousness. But equally we have a deep fear of the darkness.

An inability to accept that we don't know. And that there are things that we might never know...

Scorpio is the eighth house of the Kundali/Zodiac. It is said to be one of the difficult houses. Unpredictable. Quite impossible to see into. The house that deals with the idea of power. The entire gamut of power. Scorpio deals with the real power of stillness, the abyss, emptiness. And then it also signifies death and taxes, where you have absolutely no control over the situation. The inevitable.

It is the house of darkness. It hides our not-pretty emotions and motivations. Our jealousy, hatred, spite, venom....our really deep insecurities. The themes of the sub-terrain. What lies deep in your sub-conscious mind. Things that grow power via repression.

What Carl Jung called- Our Shadow.

What We Don't See

We like to think well of ourselves. When an unsavory thought comes up within us, we get very uncomfortable with it. Sometimes we patch over it, try to think of a good thought to cover it up. We are often in a hurry to get over the un-pleasantness.

We paint ourselves in colors of our choice, and we refuse to look at our negative qualities. We tend to chide others for these naturally human tendencies as well.

And we try to build a pastel shaded paradise, with sugar and spice and everything nice.

Tripping

And then somehow, suddenly we trip. Something slips. The mask cracks open, the shadow peeps through.

We say something really hurtful. We lose our temper. We have a really mean response to someone who didn't deserve that level of a strong reaction from us.

And most non-psychopathic people, go into a long guilt trip. They begin to wonder if they are good human beings. And they beat themselves over it. A strange kind of loop. They are harsh with themselves. Strictly they want to sculpt themselves into miniature Angels, nothing less. A sort of hyper-vigilance over their thoughts begins.

Followed by bribery schemes. Doing good deeds and hoping it cancels the inappropriate aspects of one's personality.

One can occupy an entire life this way. Hiding certain aspects, and trying to compensate with other ones.

Visible Invisible

Ramana Maharishi says that there may come a time in your self enquiry, where you feel that you are so evil, that you can never be enlightened.

He says that is a mind game. It is one of the strongest Brahmastras/ Weapons of Deep Destruction that the mind can wield. To stop you from losing it. The mind has a strong sense of self preservation, and it knows some highly manipulative tricks.

Enlightenment has nothing to do with your mind, your actions...Ramana says. It has to do with giving up the mind.

That's a good video game. One that you don't play.

Mind You

Enlightenment maybe a state beyond good and bad....but life as we know it comes with both. Maya/ The Illusion/The Matrix has an easy identifier. The Ribhu Gita says that Maya is known through its laws. The laws of time, physics and of duality.

And as long as we are doing things here, it is a good idea to familiarize ourselves with the territory.

Laws are inescapable. Rules are made.

A good way to reckon with the law of duality, is to understand it within us.

Moving Forward

We don't need light or darkness for what lies within us. They are simply over abused metaphors.

We have aspects to us that are bad. We operate within duality.

Every time we are afraid to face our negative thoughts...we are putting it into our shadow. Into what lies behind us. What is not in our view.

And the shadow slowly gains a lot of power. That is the nature of the taboo. Don't think of a pink elephant! And you see what happens....

It is somewhat like stretching a rubber band with you on one end....and the unpleasant thought on the other....Snap

When we hide somethings, and don't let them express themselves.... then we build a simmering pressure system between the tectonic plates of our deep mind.

And if we don't let it out by letting out some steam every now and then....by losing our temper....by saying something nasty....by being our beautifully imperfect selves.........

Then ...we unfortunately may have a Hayli Gubbi moment 12,000 years later...where we completely lose the plot....

Or more likely, through repression, we may do some serious damage to our health.

List Tick Off

It is simply better to accept our humanity. Look at both light and darkness.

Most likely you are not as terrible as you have painted yourself to be. Nor are you an Angel. There doesn't really need to be a war within yourself.

Avoid the extremes.

Allow other people to vent some steam as well.

Don't make a list of rules for the Perfect Person. "Follow everything!Achieve Next Level! Get reward points!"

You decide what falls on what side of the Yin and Yang Circle.

And if possible stay at the center.

So Why Do We Light The Candle?

Why the lamp in the middle of the dark month? Probably just because it is beautiful...the play of light and darkness. The fourth of December is the lovely full moon, the lamp of the night sky in full bloom. I wish you warmth for the winter and peace in this powerful month. Take care and see you soon...